It's a lot harder to gain ten pounds than you think it is. Argh. After prodding from Jen and her mom, I decided to try to gain some weight. So, I set off on a journey to gain ten pounds. It looks like I'll need to try some harder. First of all, I LOST three pounds, which set me back quite a bit. Then I gained five pounds! I was happy, because all my hard work finally paid off. Eating all those snacks ... all those second helpings at dinner. Now, I just checked myself again, and I've lost another two pounds, so I'm back exactly where I started off. Argh. Maybe I'll try the idea of eating full meals, then also drinking Slim Fast so that I'll get a double helping of my nutrients ... hehe. Or maybe I'll work out. Muscle is heavier than fat, right? Yes, ten pounds of muscle would be good, especially for a scrawny little guy like me. Yes, I'll admit it: I'm scrawny. There's no point in denying it anymore. Any guy as tall and light as me is scrawny. :P

I think I'm going to eat some more meatloaf just before sleeping.

I just did a body-mass index, and apparently 81% of 16-year-old Americans that are the same height as me are heavier than me. I guess I'm not surprised, considering how Americans tend to be a bit bigger than Canadians. I'm in the 19th percentile, so yes. I'm 18.9 kg/m², so I'm underweight for a male. If I were 17.5 kg/m², I'd be considered anorexic. Hm ... that's scary.

Whee! After church today, we went to eat at the carhop at White Spot. It's so cool! Yes, even though the people in the back have to hold their own food. I dunno, maybe I'm just a nostalgia thing. Whoa ... I'm getting old fast. Anyways, I had a BC burger combo. Yum! Lemonade was nice too, although it was eerily unpulpy. It was probably some concentrated Minute Maid thing. Oh well.

Afterwards, I stayed home and just studied. I'm getting awfully sick of Geography now. I still don't think I learned much, but I guess I'll just see how well I do on the test tomorrow. I kinda skipped a Chinese New Year dinner, but oh well. I really did need the study time. I'm starting to understand the concepts some more, but I don't think it's anywhere near what I should know to maintain my mark in the class.

I finally gave in and made the pizza. It tastes passable, so it's good enough. The strange thing about it is that it has absolutely no grease. None whatsoever. It must be all the funky chemicals in it. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that my oven is broken. The bake setting no longer works, so I had to grill my pizza. Ah well. Next time I get the chance, I'm going to Flying Wedge. Mmm ...

Yes, it's the year of the sheep or something? That's what I'm assuming from Google's homepage. I'm really out of it.

Last night, my mom barked at all of us to get into the living room, which struck me as odd. It seemed like one of those weird "family conference" things from Full House or whatever. For a moment, I thought that there was going to be some morbid announcement, even though it seemed unlikely. And I was right. Her yanking us into the living room was just a strange precursor to giving us lucky money. I think my parents savoured the sound of us attempting to say "happy new year" in Cantonese. But yes, anyways, I'm $40 richer now. :) I wonder what I'm going to buy with it. Maybe some CDs that I've been meaning to buy forever? Or maybe I'll put it towards buying Lindows. The problem is that I've never, ever seen Lindows in real life. I have no idea where I'd find it. Ah well.

Or maybe I could buy a pizza. Mmm .... pizza is so yummy. My mom would kill me if I ordered in pizza, so maybe not. I'm still pondering over what I'm going to do on Feb. 14th. Maybe I'll go out for sushi? Hmm ... or pizza. Such a hard decision. Wait, I think there's some frozen pizza in the freezer. It's not as good as real pizza though. Oh wait, I had sushi last night. Pah, I can always go for more sushi. :)

Yes, I finally started on my Calculus homework. Hopefully I'll be able to understand it in time for the test on Tuesday. Ah well, even if I don't do well, I'm not going to worry too much about it. I was lazy for this chapter, so I deserve a bad mark anyways. Same thing for Physics. I know I did horribly on that last test, but it's nobody's fault but mine. It's just a friendly reminder that I need to kick it into high gear if I want to maintain my marks this term.

I'm so glad that I'm not old enough to give out lucky money yet. Hmm ... just pondering: if I was half, do you think that would be enough of an excuse to not give out lucky money after I'm married? :D

Ahh ... music makes me so happy. I've been listening to "Wish" on repeat all day, in hopes of memorizing the lyrics in time for the talent show performance at church on Feb. 14th. And also, I've been talking to Adam about the set of songs we're doing for worship on Sunday. Oh, and I'm phoning people and harassing them to help me out with the talent show. I need piano, acoustic guitar, maybe bass guitar, and drums. The only person who has said yes so far is David, who will be playing piano for me. I guess just piano is okay, but it sounds so much better with all the other instruments. I'm trying to force Jonathan to drum for me ... uhhm, I mean ... "convince". Christina and Justin are maybes for guitar. But seriously, this song is pretty simple. Most of the instrument parts are just one bar that's repeated over and over again. Well, except for the chorus, but it's just four chords, repeated once. I might end up begging Adrian to play guitar for me, if Christina or Justin don't pull through. :/ Maybe I can get Matt to drum for me.

I'm feeling better now. I still think I'm a horrible person, but I'm working on improving on that.

Once more realizing how horrible of a friend I am. Please, for your own sake, don't get too close to me. I only cause pain.

I've got to bite my tongue before I go any further into my complaining. When I got home, I realized that I'm being pretty hypocritical. There's always a good side to life, and having fellowship really helped me realize that. After school, we had a pretty fun time, just talking and sharing with each other. I've gotta say that the Bible studies that we've had at school fellowship have been much different than the ones at church, because it's just us teens sharing our ideas. At church, it's just so different for some reason. Maybe it's because the school fellowship is mostly girls, so they actually talk? Haha, I don't know.

But anyways, I've realized that I shouldn't let circumstances dictate my emotions. Just because something bad happens, it's not the end of the world. It's really never as bad as it seems at first. And besides that, when a long string of depressing events occurs in life, there's always a string of positive things that are sure to follow, whether we realize it or not. I think I've been spending too much time thinking about the negative things in life.

I think this is part of the reason why I have been having such low self-esteem lately. I always let depression seep into my life when I think negatively. I really do need to change. Battling depression is never fun ... and I've gone through it so many times that it's not funny. And ... especially in the past few months. I have to really stop comparing myself to the world's standards, because they're just messed up. There's a lot of hypocrisy in that area too. I always tell people to just be comfortable with their bodies, and not worry about how you look, but I often analyze myself and I start to wonder about my body image. I got two pimples over the weekend, but you know what? I'm happy! This is how I've been made. It's a totally natural process, so I'm fine with it. I really want to practice what I preach.

It's official: I'm a loner. :)

Such a variety of results.


Which McDonald's food are you?


Which season are you?


Which Saved By The Bell character are you?


Which era are you from?

You are 34% geek!

Are you a geek?


Which band instrument are you?


Which Teletubby are you?


What pie flavor are you?

My medicine tastes so gross! I never thought I'd ever encounter a cough medicine that doesn't taste good. It tastes so nasty ... I'm so glad my mom doesn't make me take it three times, twice a day like it says. But on the other hand, my antibiotics taste good. It's pink! Wheee! :) I don't understand how I ended up with a pink fluid when the doctor prescribed pills, but whatever. My mom assured me that it's fine, so there's nothing I can really do. I think my medicine causes drowsiness too, because I'm always sleepy now.

On a more positive note, I still understand Physics! I usually forget quickly, but I still know it!

I did this quiz that was made to make you paranoid about your possible mental disorders ... it was pretty obvious, because after they give you your results, they show you all these books that can help you solve your problems. I'm not saying that I'm 100% stable, mentally, but I'm not really taking this seriously. Apparently, I'm schiphrenic and over-dependent. I'll admit that I am quite dependent, but it's not like it's an extreme disorder or anything.

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

Personality disorder test

I'm so addicted to these things. It really makes no sense that I'm losing weight right now. There's no way that an increase in eating McDonald's food can cause a decrease in weight. It must be my stupid sickness kicking in. I think I'm finally going to get around to making that soup. Soup always makes me feel better. Yes, even the MSG-filled, canned variety.

Just relaxing here at home right now ... I'm feeling so much better after twelve hours of sleep. I'm still coughing like crazy, but pah. The sleep was good! I would have been so stressed out if I had gone to school today. I didn't end up doing any of the homework that's due today anyways. I lost my Physics problem set! But Alicia's going to give a blank problem set to Tony so that he can scan it for me ... hehe. And he's going to scan the take-home quiz for me too! Friends rock! And I convinced my mom last night to let me stay home, so I didn't bother working on my Desktop Publishing project. But I guess I have no chance of winning the contest anymore ... considering that there's a deadline that I'm going to totally miss because of my sick day today and Manning next week. Maybe I'll slip it to Mr. Low on Monday?

But hopefully I will get some work done today. I want to:

start reading Fugitive Pieces

learn The Cascades

finish my problem set

finish the take-home quiz

sleep a lot

But hrmm ... so hungry. And as usual, my parents left me no food to eat. That means that I'll have to make something! Don't they know that that will probably result in me blowing up the kitchen? Hehe. Hmm ... actually, I'm contemplating to order in a pizza or something ... do sushi places deliver? Probably not, eh? Maybe Fujiya ... and mom left me her credit card to pay for my UBC fees, but I could always use it for other purposes ... hehe. Eh, that's probably not a smart idea. I just know that I'll end up making canned soup and eat that for the whole day.

Argh. I took a nap for an hour, and my head really hurts now. This probably isn't good. I wish I could have gone home today at lunch. I was so close to doing it, too. Stupid lack of keys. I can't even find them now. I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. But there's little chance that my mom will let me stay home sick. Although ... I do want to find out what I got on my Calculus test. I want to finish off this English essay as quickly as I can tonight, so that I can go to sleep. I'm still feeling the after effects of Monday night.

The French essay contest went by alright. I actually manage to write three sides of legal size paper ... amazing. It's all horrible writing, but that's besides the point. I got Mr. V. to make me a photocopy of my essay, just in case I actually managed to make sense while writing it. I don't know why, but I laughed when I read the topic: "Le progrès". I guess it was the odd irony that "progress" was keeping me from a good nap. I ended up writing something about globalization and how money runs the world. It's probably horrible, considering that I don't know the first thing abotu globalization. It's a very vague, uninformed essay. No way I'm going to win. But then again, I had no imagination of winning anyways. Don't have the skill.

Miranda and I finished at the same time (the first people!), so we went to McDonald's together. Yum ... flatbread. Yes, I mooched another employee's 50% discount ... bwahaha. :) But seriously, it was nice to eat something nice after a pretty awful day, and spending time with friends is a rare occasion for me these days.

Things I want:

Halls

tissues

more Halls

more tissues

something to get out the thing that's stuck in my throat

chicken flatbread

Halls

Yum ... just got home and finished a chicken flatbread from McDonald's. It's actually really good! I just tried it today for the first time. Our Christian fellowship at school actually had its first real meeting today after school. We had a couple of songs, then had a short Bible study, which was a little awkward since we all forgot our Bibles. Heh. :P Susanna had to leave early to get her hair done for pictures tonight. Grr ... I want to see! :) Then when we were done, we kinda just talked and stuff. We kinda forgot to say where we were meeting in the announcements, so very few people came. Only three people came (me, Susanna and Diana) because they just happened to find the room. Ah well, next time. :) Afterwards, I called my mom to pick me up, but she didn't feel like it, so I ended up taking the bus. When I got to the stop, I saw Diana, so I talked to her for a while. We ended up going to McDonald's to use her 50% discount ... hehe. Four dollars for a chicken flatbread is just too much. Two is reasonable, so I bought it. Yum ... it's so good though! I'm tempted to actually pay the four dollars next time. Yummy stuff! I can't believe that Diana only lives like four blocks away from me. I could get to her house in maybe five minutes; more if I'm slow. :P

Lalala ... not really doing anything at the moment. I just finished eating more chicken and apple pie and crackers and salmon. Jen's house is my food house. :) I think I'm eating congee later too. Right now, I'm just waiting for Jen to get changed because I'm taking pictures of her soon. Hehe ... I think she's going to make Josephine pose too! I wonder how long it's going to take Jen to change. Fifteen minutes maybe? Hmm ... maybe I can grab more chicken before then. Hehe. Or heat up my congee. Ahh ... I'm hungry because I didn't have lunch today. My mom gave me congee, but I didn't have a spoon, so I couldn't eat it. I tried drinking it straight out of the Thermos, but it didn't really work too well. Instead, I just talked to Andy and ... that girl. Hehe I don't remember her name, but she was nice. I actually haven't talked to Andy in a long time, so it was nice to hang out for a bit. I spent my spare with him too because he didn't have much work for CS. I gotta go now, so bye!

I never realized so many people read my site. I always thought it was just like Andrew, Alicia, Frannie, Angela, Suzy, Jen, and Elisa. And like occasionally some other people. But it seems that more people know about my site than I realized ... hehe. I didn't even advertise my site at all, so it kinda baffles me. The only advertising I did was in my ICQ info, where I put my site address, but it's not like I told anybody specifically. Ah well, it's cool. I guess I was just oblivious to it since nobody else really posts comments or signs the guestbook or talks in the forum besides the aforementioned.

Not really in the best mood. Totally bored. Had yet another stupid family dinner tonight ... did absolutely nothing there. I watched TV ... more TV ... then a little more TV. It was so boring. Dumb variety shows, stupid comedies, etc. I'm glad I don't want TV that often. I didn't want to listen to my CD player because I've been spinning "Blur" too many times, so it's getting redundant now. And I didn't bring any other CDs with me. Sigh.

Reading Alicia's blog makes me realize how bad my grammar is. Ick, my grammar is so horrible. So many one-word and fragment "sentences". Eh.

I still really haven't done anything lately. I was supposed to go to lunch with Adrian today, but he said he was too tired to go with me. But at least I did the Bible study prep thing with the guys; it was alright. I wished that Alvin were more alert though. He seemed kinda hung over the whole time. I took a nap for a while after that, then we went off to dinner. I would have gone on my aunt's computer, but it's so slow that I can't do anything on it. And besides that, it's really screwy, so sometimes you have to open a program ten times before it works. Other times, it doesn't even work after that.

I still feel sick ... like I'm going to retch any moment. Doesn't that give you such a pretty picture? Eh, I'm tired, sick and annoyed.

I just got back from Metro ... I really don't know how I managed to spend so much time at the mall. Justin and I got there at around 2pm, then we walked around, looking for stuff. I returned my GAPkids pants, then I went off to Pilgrim's to pick up CDs. I ended up getting "By Surprise" and "Blur". I couldn't find the plus ONE piano book. I contemplated buying the Michael W. Smith piano book, but I ... kinda forgot about it. Maybe I'll make my mom take me, and she might buy it for me. I didn't end up going to Half Price Computer Books because it's just too far away. I didn't want to SkyTrain all the way to Brentwood Mall. So no Red Hat book for me. I went to Chapters to look for Linux books, but they didn't have much that I was looking for. Most of their Linux books were about network administration or programming, which isn't quite what I want. I think I'll be needing an Idiot's Guide To Red Hat Linux or something. I really can't even do the simplest things, it's quite sad. I can't even install a simple file from an RPM. Oh well.

I don't quite agree, but I guess I'm not like any of the characters, really. I edited the description because of the bad grammar, which caused it to not make sense.



Your personality is most like the joke cracking Chandler. You love to make people laugh with clever comments and you're a real sweet person. And couldn't you be any cuter!

Last night was Joe and Anne's 25th wedding anniversary, and since my parents are friends, we got dragged along too. Haha, I make it sound so bad, don't I? Well, it turned out to be okay. None of my aged churchies were really invited though ... but there were a few old people. Like Kenrick, Ryan, Kevin, Adrian, Jeremy, etc. I mainly talked to my brothers ... it was pretty okay actually. I really didn't end up eating too much at dinner, because it was Chinese. I liked some of it, but you all probably know that I'd prefer anything but Chinese. And maybe now Indian vegetarian as well, after hearing horror stories about Yogi's. There was some anniversary video that the couple's sons made (I think, I can't understand Cantonese), but everyone was blocking my way, so I couldn't see it. Adrian and I just kinda talked while the video was on ... we couldn't see anything except for blurry, old video clips. People were like, "Ooh! Ahh!" but I was like, "Eh?" Sad, I know. But at least, we ended up figuring out the lunch thing. I think we're going on New Year's to some sushi place in Richmond. Hehe I'll get to sample Adrian's driving skills soon ... don't be surprised if I don't come back. Haha ... just kidding. :)

The dinner ended at around 9pm, but most people started leaving at around 9:30pm. Lucky me got to stay until 11pm! Argh. The adults started playing this kissing game, where all the couples started kissing each other. Eww ... I really didn't need to watch old people kiss! Ughh ... I need to learn how to erase things from my memory. :P And my parents brought along their digital camera, so they filmed EVERYTHING. We had to show up early (6pm) to film the place getting set up, then we stayed extra-long to videotape all the banter and chatter after the dinner. We didn't get home until 11:30pm. My cough has gotten progressively worse throughout the night. My throat is so dry and sore ... I think I sorta know what Kelly was going through on the American Idol finale night now. Except I'm not crying. Nor singing. And I'm not a pop star. Eh, okay never mind.

When I got home last night, I was going to go to sleep, but instead, I made myself an instant pizza thing because I was still hungry. I added Adrian to my ICQ, then I was just going to turn my computer off, but he was actually there. It kinda struck me odd, but I just started talking. I dunno, I really didn't think that Adrian was the kind of person that would use the computer that much. Honestly, I never would have guessed that he created a Web site that gets a million visitors per month. It's so cool! We chatted for a long while ... then we went to sleep when we were too tired to talk anymore. I think it was like 2:30am? I don't remember. I just woke up at 10:30am, but whatever. I was supposed to wake up at 9am to go to Metro with my brother, but he hasn't woken up at all yet.

Yes, even though I've already shelled $200 out of my own money in the past two weeks, I still want to buy more. Argh, I really need to stop. I'll stop after tomorrow. I promise. ... Eh, I'm just fooling myself. :P

Red Hat Linux 8 For Dummies - $35.99
Jazz piano music book - ?
plus ONE piano book - $29.99
"Divine Discontentment" - $17.99

There are other things that I want to buy, but these are my highest priorities. :) Any donations to the Stewart Yu fund will be gladly accepted.

It turned out to be pretty good. It's not like I was expecting it to be a major turning point in my life or anything. :) But it was nice to see my friends, whom I haven't seen for a while. Major thanks to Jen for organizing the outing. :) It was especially nice to see Jane, so I spent most of my time in the bleachers with her. I got a bouncy ball from Andrew. :) Afterwards, mostly everybody went to some restaurant, while Andrew and I left. Oh well. I'm used to it ... I'm never really allowed to go out that often. I wanted to take my digital camera, but I was afraid that I might break it, so I left it at home.

It's a bit depressing to be home now. I'm pretty much spending the rest of my break doing Math correspondance. The next exam sitting is on February 15th, which is the deadline for my unconditional marks, making all of this totally pointless. And if I don't maintain my first term average for second term, UBC's just going to throw me into the year-end acceptance pile.

But besides that, I have a lot of screwy relationships right now. I don't even know who I can confide in anymore ... discovered that some people don't like me for who I am, which I guess is understandable, but still doesn't feel good.

Yup, third one in a row tonight ... it was extremely boring as usual. I ate a little, then I went to my room to go on ICQ. I guess I'm not really into the whole interacting with the family deal ... hehe. But yeah, it's been the same out-of-town relatives for the third time ... I can only talk about the weather and what I've been doing during the holidays so many times! At 10pm, my cousins left to go pick up another cousin from the airport, and they got back at about midnight. They all started talking and stuff until just now, and they've left. It was alright, I guess, but whatever. Feeling so incredibly blah today. I've been bored for almost the entire day, and boredom isn't good for me ... unfortunately, I'm bored a lot of the time. I'm usually either tired or bored ... actually, I think I'm tired most of the time. Stupid school not letting us have enough sleep. But now that I get loads of sleep, I'm just bored. Lalala ... I'm talking about absolutely nothing.

During the dinner tonight, I finally finished Assignment 2! Whoo-hoo! It only took me an entire two months! ... Ahem. Then I watched Beauty And The Beast over again. That brought me to about 11:30pm. I walked out of my room to find my parents playing that video of the Christmas musical yet again. Argh.

I talked to Jane for a bit today ... hehe. She's so nice! She put in a good word for me at her work so that I would be more likely to get a job if I applied. Yay! I just have to go to Tom Lee to buy some interesting music and learn it. I have a renewed interest in piano now ... an interest that I haven't had since I was six. I think it's partially due to all of my music critiquing ... well, if you can call it that. But probably mostly because now I actually have the maturity to understand the passion behind music. Before I just figured that I'd play a piece in several random ways until my teacher liked it.

I had two weird dreams last night ... one was like Scooby Doo, where we were trying to solve some mystery. I don't even remember what the mystery was about ... something to do with school though. There were four detectives, which were me, Jen, Encyclopedia Brown and some other person. Don't ask. One of the only parts that I remember from that dream was when Jen was busily reading through some book on how to solve mysteries or something ... hehe! Anyways, we never did finish solving the mystery. I remember that we started at the beginning of the school day, and we had to solve it by lunch time. But that dream ended when it was during break. Oh well. My other dream was about how Mr. Low was kicking me out of Desktop Publishing because I'm not allowed to get 99% in it or something ... that was screwy. Eh ... it made sense at the time.

I just got home from shopping ... I actually bought stuff!! It's pretty amazing ... I never usually buy anything unless I have a few other opinions from friends or something. I saw so many people at Metro today, it was pretty crazy there. I saw David's family five minutes after I got there ... hehe. I saw so many other people too: Mel, Jess, Angela, Leoma, Jen's family, Eric, Suzy, Rebecca, Trudy err ... other poeple too, but I can't remember them all. I ended up buying two pairs of boxers at Old Navy because they're only $5 each! They're usually like $12.50, so I got like 60% off ... sweet! I bought a shirt for Justin, which turned out to be $15 instead of the regular $40. Thanks Jess for your discount sticker! :) At GAP, I tried on a pair of pants for Jen, and she said it was nice, so I considered buying it. I hid it away so that I could contemplate it later ... hehe. When I came back two hours later, I ended up buying a pair of pants from GAPkids, size 16. I remembered about my GiftCard, so instead of paying $35, I got it for $20. I saved so much today! :) Hehe this is the first Boxing Day where I've actually bought something ... amazing! I guess it's because I don't like spending much on clothes, so sales of over 50% kinda help me make my decision ... hehe.

Mom made me go to Metro again just now. Argh. But oh well, at least I knew that it was going to be closing at 11, so I had ample time to prepare. And I shopped with my brother, so it went by more smoothly. See, when I'm shopping by myself, I'm incredibly indecisive. If I have somebody to give me the okay, I'll be more inclined to just buy it. So anyways, I gave him his sixty bucks to go towards his MP3 player, bought a flower thing for mom and a thing from Gizmoz for Maurice. We split it all, so we only ended up paying like $25 each ... sweet.

We saw Mr. Bae walking around in Metropolis with some girl ... haha. Justin and I were contemplating to go up to him and say, "Hi Mr. Bae! Remember us? Oh ... is she the girlfriend that you were always talking about in class last year?" He looked kinda scrubby ... Justin and I laughed so hard when we saw him.

Ugh ... Metro sucks! Why didn't they have signs that said that they close at six?! My mom drove me there at 2:30pm, then I walked around for a while, trying to get ideas for gifts. Then at 3pm, I waited for Andrew, because we were supposed to meet at Body Shop then. At 3:10pm, I was still waiting. Then 3:20pm rolls by ... then at 3:30pm I just get fed up and walked away. Half an hour wasted already! Then I shopped around for an hour still accumulating ideas, and I was pretty sure that I was going to buy this putty game thingy for Maurice, clothes for Justin, but wasn't sure what to get for my parents. So I went off to Pilgrim's to see if there was anything there, so I waited for the bus at 4:30pm. I got there at 5pm, to find that it was closed. I kinda forgot that they don't open on Sundays because it's the Sabbath. Frustrated, I set back off to Metro, but I didn't get there until 5:30pm. A whole hour wasted for absolutely nothing! I was pretty hungry, so I went to the food court and bought two pizza slices and ate. I finished eating at 5:45pm, then I set off to go gift hunting again. I got to the entrance of Sears, where I was going to buy Maurice's putty thing, and this guy is closing the doors. I go up to him and say, "Can I go in?" and he says, "Sorry, we're closed." ARGH. Extremely annoyed, I started to go to other places to look for other things, but everything started closing! By the time I got back to the Metropolis side, practically everything had closed, except for this Brussel's kiosk, so I just bought a box of chocolates ... three hours of shopping for a stupid box of chocolates. I went up to Silvercity to use the washroom, and on my way down the stairs, I saw Victor buying tickets, so I chatted with him for a few minutes, then said goodbye. On my way to the Skytrain, I saw Andrew so I ran up to him and started harrassing him!! Needed to get my frustrations out some how ... hehe! Now I just got home feeling pretty pathetic. I really didn't accomplish anything today ... but I'm not going back to that evil mall. That box of chocolates is for my entire family ... don't care anymore. Blah.

Yay! :) I like cards! Especially ones where people write lots and lots! Adrian gave me a Christmas card today at church ... it's probably one of the longest cards that I've ever received from a guy! I really didn't expect to get a card from him, and now I feel like I should write something back for him. He said that we should get together for lunch some time ... hehe that better mean that he's treating!! ;D I got a present from Alison too, it's these three magnets that say Love Faith Hope. They're so nice! I think she made them herself too! :) Oh, and at church we had these Christmas trivia questions and I knew a bunch of them because of my involvement with the Mighty Messengers Big Adventure musical. Especially reading over Gabriel's lines helped a lot! Like in the first scene when Gabriel doing the prophecy check with Mikey, two of the answers were from there. "Micah said he'd be born in Bethlehem." and "Isaiah told them he would come from King David's father Jesse." I actually wasn't on the team that was answering the questions, but me and my friends kinda helped them out ... hehe. And Amos had a prize left over afterwards, so he just gave it to me. :P Hehe so my prize was a free milkshake from White Spot ... yay! Their milkshakes are always so good ... and they give so much too! I think I'll make my mom take me there next week after church for a nice strawberry shake ... lunch too. :)

Yesterday was pretty boring for me, but it quickly got better in the night. I got a phone call from Andrew, which was nice because it made me feel so special that somebody actually wanted to talk to me! :) Then when I got back from my shower, I was about to turn off my computer and go to sleep, but Mark was online, so I talked to him. I haven't talked to him in so many months! He says that Hawaii is boring and that he wants to move to Vancouver with all of us ... hehe he's so sweet. :) But he'll probably be coming here for university, because his dad said that he'll let him. It would be nice to see him around more often ... I think it would be a lot of fun to get to hang out with him.

But argh ... right now I'm about to head off to Metro for some more last-minute shopping. Hopefully I can get my shopping done, because ... I haven't exactly started yet. I'll have to get something for Maurice and my parents. I've already told Justin about his $60 shopping spree, so he's cool with that. I would get something for Adrian and Alison, but I don't think I'll see them in the next three days. Oh well, maybe I'll phone or email them some time during the break. :) But I dunno, e-cards really aren't the same as paper cards.

With four days to spare, I finally finished the Christas layout ... proud of me? Now that I've finally seen the finished product, it actually looks alright. There's some sort of Javascript error, the page loads horrendously slow and it's still not XML compliant ... I probably could have done better, but I don't really feel like working more on it. I'll be working on a better color scheme for the forum next. The shoutouts page doesn't work yet, mostly because I haven't finished writing shouts for everybody yet. I pretty much axed the shoutbox because I don't think it was that popular before anyways. Maybe I'll bring it back in the next layout. I'll put in a guestbook some time too ... maybe even tonight. I'll have to figure out how to use CGI on this server though ... it's kinda weird here.

I've been cleaning the house for the past few hours ... I'm not sure why. I guess I feel like I should be doing something, since I'm so used to having homework to do. Ah well, at least my room is neater than it has been in a long time. It's still quite messy since it's also my brother's room, so I can't just pack away all the toys that he never ever plays with. I guess my whole break will be like this, because I'm too lazy to go out to do anything. And besides that, I have to get all my Math correspondance done by the end of the break. Hopefully I can cram 700 pages of Albertan Math into my brain within the next two weeks. Also, I have to do my French project and Calculus homework ... as well as reviewing Physics and Biology. And if I still have time, I want to improve my essay writing skills. And if there's still time left over, I want to start learning PHP and MySQL again ... Photoshop too. Oh, and get my L too. So many goals ... so little time. Kinda sad that some of these are leftovers from the summer.

Just ten days until I can drink pop again. But ... actually, I really don't even feel like drinking it anymore. That's probably a good thing anyways. Maybe I'll try the no chocolate one again for next year, because I didn't really enforce it this time around. I contemplated a no fast food resolution too, but I think that it's just going to end up being an annoyance, especially when I have to rush to get something quick to eat.

Continuing to not feel very good. I wish that I could just go to sleep until tomorrow morning ... that would be nice. I can't believe I screw up so much ... even though I promised myself that I would change. Things are getting so much harder for me, and yet, it seems like I am completely powerless to do anything about it. Maybe this is supposed to be a lesson for me ... I don't know. I just hate being so hypocritical. I guess I'll just go off and listen to music for forty minutes, until I have to leave for practice.

Hm ... I actually I think I'll mull over Luke 15:17-23 for a while instead.

I don't know, but I'm feeling so tired right now. After Christmas caroling for the talent show that we practiced for for so long (haha), I was so incredibly tired. After the celebration, I started to go to the bus stop, but I realized that I didn't have any bus tickets, so I had to walk home, which just used up even more energy! I pretty much collapsed when I got home and slept for an hour and a half. I forced myself to wake up because I have to go to a final practice for the musical at 5:30pm, so I should be up and ready by then. I still feel fatigued, but whatever. I guess part of the reason why I'm tired is because I've been kinda not eating lunch lately. I keep doing other things, like essays and stuff, and I end up forgetting about it. I'm still annoyed over the grad write-up, but I guess I can't do anything about it now. Too tired to complain anyways.

I watched the ending twice today, because it's so good! It's rekindled my interest in buying the Special Edition DVD again ... hehe. The JUMP5 dance version of the title track is so cool!! Lots of boppy goodness. I might get the DisneyMania! soundtrack because there's lots of boppy covers of Disney hits, like Aaron Carter's cover of I Just Can't Wait To Be King and S Club's cover of Can You Feel The Love Tonight. Ah ... but I loved the movie! I wish I could watch it again.

After school, I dropped off my books at home, then went to Metro with mom and Maurice. Every time I went to get something to eat, I'd come back finding my mom paying for new clothes for me ... hehe. I went to get bubble tea, then when I met up with her again, I had a new fleece sweater from GAP. Then after my soft pretzel, I had a new Old Navy ribbed sweater. :) Interesting ... maybe I should go and buy food at the mall more often. Mmm ... and I had pizza for dinner, which was good. I love Mrs. Vanelli's! The pizza there is probably my favorite, after Flying Wedge. I love the chilies and spices that I can use at Mrs. Vanelli's because I like my pizza a bit spicy and hot. I saw Tabitha with her mom there too, and we chatted a little about her doing a great job playing Herod last Sunday. Later on, I bumped into Andrea when I was buying bubble tea. I forgot to tell her that Adrian has to lead singspiration on Sunday ... oh well, I'll tell him tomorrow ... hehe.

Take the What High School Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.

I went and talked to the Stitches manager, and he doesn't seem to be that nice. As usual, I just went up to the first employee that I could find and asked for the manager, and he said, "That's me." or something. Then I introduced myself and gave him my résumé and cover letter, so he gave it a quick once-over. He seemed mildly interested in hiring me, because he asked about my previous jobs, etc. Then he told me to write down my availability hours, and to leave it on the counter. So I did, then I thanked him and left. But throughout the whole thing, he seemed to be pretty apathetic about me. He didn't really seem to care that much ... but I guess he was busy, so I don't blame him. My senses seem to tell me that he's not that nice, so I'm not too sure if I actually want to be hired ... hehe. But I guess it's not a big deal, since if I get hired, it will only be for a few weeks. Whatever happens, I'm okay with it, either way.

Pam just called me and told me that Stitches is looking for people to work for the Christmas rush, and that if I applied, I would probably have a good chance of getting hired. So right now, I'm madly checking through my résumé and cover letter to make sure that everything is perfect, so that I can go apply. I'm going to ask my mom if she can drive me there when she gets home ... hopefully she'll let me. Hopefully I'll get it!

From the Grad Breakfast: uzy dancing!

I'm beginning to realize what a horrible, horrible person I am.

I have to change. Drastically.

Not feeling very well. Not really bcause of my bad marks, but a bunch of other depressing things have been happening lately. Don't want to get into it, but I figured I may as well keep a record it in my daily journal. Trying to cheer myself up by listening to music ... but it doesn't seem to be working.

I knew long ago that the life I chose would be harder than necessary, but still necessary at the same time. I guess I'm just going to continue this way, because in the end, it probably will be better for me.

Last night, I had been planning to use my spare right now to decorate all the non-decorated mini school lockers, but I am definitely not in that mood right now.

Ugh ... stupid people are in here, making a lot of noise. I wish I could just make them all go away, but they're not doing anything wrong, just discussing their school projects.

Wow, my thoughts are more unorganized than usual. Oh well.

I took two pictures of my dog just now, after playing with some of the camera settings. Reading the manual is actually helpful. I didn't even touch it when I opened the box; I just left it in there. I figured that I didn't need to look at it, since I was able to get it all up and running without it. I even figured out what all the symbols meant all by myself! Hehe ... :) But I got bored, so I started reading it, and I learned a couple things that I wouldn't have known without it. It's so cool! I can set the distance of my subject, so it'll focus my picture in that depth, instead of just guessing. I noticed that in the AWANA pictures that I took tonight, some turned out pretty blurry because I hadn't set the distance properly. I think I'm getting better already! I mean, come on, look at the quality of this picture! Hehe well it's not perfect, but it's pretty good for a novice like me. Just watch me become a world-reknowned photographer now ... hehe!



I'm going to have so much fun tomorrow at church!

I'm definitely a new person since I got my camera yesterday! I was so camera happy, taking pictures of anything that would sit still! I'm not a very good photographer, but that's besides the point ... hehe. I've always had an interest in photography, but I'm not sure why I never took that course. I guess I'll have all the time in the world to experiment with it now though. :)

I'm going to be taking my camera to church tomorrow ... I better bring some back-up memory sticks because I have a feeling that I'll use it all up extremely quickly ... hehe. I like taking pictures with the maximum quality so that I can shrink it and make it even more fine. And with those settings, I can only take about sixteen pictures on a 16MB stick. Oh well, I have this coupon that came with the camera that gives me a free 16MB stick if I send in the original UPC code for the camera. My mom does too, so I'll have plenty of sticks. :) She doesn't want to use her sticks, but digital tapes instead. I think the sticks are more convenient, but if she doesn't want them, I don't want to take them ... hehe. So when I get all the coupon sticks, I'll have a total of 56MB, which is pretty decent.

After Cynthia and Cindy left, I made myself spaghetti for lunch. I'm so proud of myself! I actually sorta cooked something and it gave me a sense of accomplishment. Sure, it was incredibly simple, but that's good enough for me. I just boiled spaghetti, cut up some ham and warmed up some cheese, but it felt like I did a lot. Well, at least it took a while. At least about twenty minutes from when I thought of making spaghetti to actually the eating time. I completely guessed everything and made no measurements, but I guess since I had no recipe it would be pointless to try to measure anything anyways. It turned out that I had too much ham and not enough spaghetti, but whatever. I guess next time I'll know. I'm still a bit hungry, but whatever. Dinner will be in about three hours, so I can wait until then. :)

Ah ... and the future is looking good. Our Physics group is progressing steadily on the project, and it looks like we'll be finished in advance of the due date, which is good. Tomorrow is the final practice for the musical. Yay!! :) Haha I dunno, I think the practices are a bit tedious ... I just want to get to the performances! Then on Monday, I have the afternoon off to go to eat yummy French food ... Thursday is the mini school Christmas celebration. Friday is the Christmas potluck for fellowship at church, so we'll be having lots of good stuff too. Somebody always brings sushi to church potlucks ... hehe. Saturday is the AWANA Christmas party, so we're just going to chill and fool around a bit. Then next Sunday is our musical! :) Then it's just one more week until school is out for Christmas holidays ... things are definitely looking up. And with my new digital camera, I can go and savor every moment ... hehe.

Upon stepping into the English classroom, Angela got showered in balloons and found us wearing party hats while grinning at her. :) As usual, we sang "Happy Birthday" and she seemed a bit uneasy with all the attention on her ... but it was still fun! I was going to use the streamers that I bought to decorate her desk, but I forgot about it. :( I wanted to buy her an actual present, but I had absolutely no idea what to buy. Hmm ... are balloons and party hats enough? Stupid Kai went and tried to steal half of the hats, so I chased after him and just grabbed them off his head. Bah. Mmm ... that strawberry cheesecake at lunch was really good. I hope she had fun ... I know I had a lot of fun! :) We gave Becky the remains of the cake, and she gladly accepted it! I'm beginning to think that Becky's all for practically any food ... hehe!

I woke up at 8:30am this morning to go digicam hunting with Andrew today, trying to get something that's in a reasonable price range, but still high quality. I think I'm going to go with either the Sony Cyber-shot DSC-P51 or the Olympus America Camedia D-520 Zoom. I still have to contemplate a couple more detailed issues, but I'll see how it goes.

We poked around at a couple stores looking for Andrew's Star Wars toys, but we didn't end up finding anything, so we just went to lunch at Sushi Garden. It was the best eight bucks that I ever spent on sushi. :) Mmm ... they put so much fish on their nigiri, which is so much better than what I'm used to. I'm usually served these smaller sushi pieces with the fish barely covering the rice ... bah. It seems like smaller sushi shops are better than the big all-you-can-eat type places.

I wanted to go to Pilgrim's, but I felt about dragging Andrew all the way down Kingsway to a remote bookstore for absolutely no reason, so we went to Brentwood Mall instead. But when we were switching lines at Broadway, we decided to go to Jen's house and steal her Physics bridge ideas ... hehe. :) After a small chat, we took off to Brentwood and bought some very 'interesting' things ... hehe. I'd say more, but I wouldn't want to spoil the fun. I still think that Andrew should have bought the 'Go Girl!' wrapping paper for his KK! :D

I finally got home at about 4pm, then I took a nap for about half an hour. I'm doing a little more digicam research right now, trying pick apart the two that I mentioned a while back. I'll start studying for French soon, because I really have to get a good mark on this test.

Fun day, fun day ... :)

I just looked at my Manning fors, and guess what? We're leaving on the premiere of American Idol 2! ARGH. I wanted to see people making fools of themselves and getting snarky comments from Simon. :) Ah well, I get the feeling that AI2 is going to be a flop anyways. Besides, I really don't think there could ever be a contestant that would bring about as much emotion and interest to the show as Kelly did. Hopefully this year at Manning will be good ... I'm already thankful that we're allowed to go. I just hope the guys shower this year ...

Okay, I'm feeling better now that I've taken a real nap in my bed and I've had some real food. I just kept drinking so much soup at dinner because it was so nice and warm and soothing. I stuffed myself with three bowls of rice, fish and vegetables, because I really didn't eat very much today. My stomach feels a bit expanded now, but I'm alright. Reading "Chicken Hips" in my spare was really eye-opening.

I feel rested up now and I'm ready to attack the piles of homework that I have in front of me. Hopefully I'll be able to get through the rest of my tests this week. Listening to mindless pop helps me get through this ... especially mindless American Idol remakes of oldies. Maybe if I'm feeling motivated on the weekend, I'll finish off a new layout, although that is probably unlikely. Maybe I'll make a better Kelly layout this time, since the last one was pretty much a flop.

Thanks to all of you who tried to make me feel better today ... your efforts haven't been forgotten. :)

Things are still very strange. I mean, there are a lot of good things happening in my life, but the fact that I have to deal with so many bad things as well is a bit weird. There are a lot of friends that I just don't understand. I want to help so badly, but it doesn't seem like my help is very much appreciated. And for some, they're going down a bad road and they don't see how it's going to hurt themselves in the future. I've tried to just forget about things and to just mind my own business, but I just don't feel content that way. When I'm fine and I know that there are some people that I could be reaching out to, I just feel like I need to do something about it. I guess it might look like I'm incredibly nosy. But it's not the reason why I do it. Hmm ... perhaps I'm coming off in a bad way. I wish I could just stop. Maybe I'm just totally screwy. Ah well.

Aww ... isn't that cute? ;D Yeah, I'm bored. I've been working on my Physics for a long time and I still don't get it. Argh. So I checked my email and I read my daily Xanga subscription and saw this quiz, so I did it too. :) Try it out and let me know what you get by leaving a comment.

Susanna sent me this email, which I've seen a couple times before, but it's worth pointing out a couple of the more interesting items in the list. :)

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Sing along at the opera.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!"

Yeah, it's my brother's birthday today! :) We had cake and everything, but I didn't really want it ... hehe. It was one of those Chinese kind of cakes ... like with the spongy cake stuff and lots of fruit between the layers. I like ice cream cakes and stuff because I'm totally white-washed, so yeah. But then again, I'm not supposed to eat ice cream until the end of next month. Whoa ... it's only another month? Hehe it's gone by so quickly.

Anyways, at church, Justin's friends all got him presents, which was so nice! Peter bought him a Star Wars 2 DVD or something ... I don't remember which one, but I know it's Star Wars. And also, April got him a scarf. :) He probably got other presents too, but I didn't see them. I kinda forgot to get him something ... not because I forgot his birthday, because I knew that it was approaching, but I just didn't know what to get him. I'll get him something later in the week or something.

Musical practice went by pretty well, except I totally butchered my two most crucial lines. Ah well, it's not the real thing yet. And I still don't know how to act like a rapper. I'll get Andy to teach me tomorrow. :) I still haven't memorized so many of the songs, and it makes me look like such an idiot. I better get listening to the tape again. I haven't listened to it in like two weeks. Which probably accounts for how I can't remember my lines. The practice took so long ... I didn't get home until 5:10 PM.

Then, Pam came over at 5:30 PM, while I was taking a nap. Grrr ... :) So yeah ... we talked, then we talked some more. Then we talked a little more. :) We ate dinner, which was really good because we had sushi! Hehe ... then afterwards, we watched "Center Stage", which was pretty cool. I'd already seen it before, but it was alright to watch it again. Then we started to watch various videos that were on my computer, so we ended up watching lots of Kelly's American Idol performances. :) Then her parents finally decided to leave just now, so now I can finally get started on my homework.

I had a minimal breakfast because I had to rush out of the house early this morning, so I was hungry all morning. It didn't help that Mme. Howell read off the menu for that French restaurant that we're going to in two weeks ... mmm. During my spare and the beginning of lunch time, I continued to plead with Mr. Martin to get one more mark to raise me a percent, but he wouldn't. Argh. Then I realized that I didn't make a lunch, so I went to the cafeteria to buy fries, but because I didn't rush down at the beginning of the lunch hour, they ran out. I went to the vending machine, but pretty much everything had either chocolate or MSG, so I refused to buy any of it. Ergh. I don't like my Secret Santa person that I have to surprise. I have a guy, which kinda sucks. And since none of the mini school guys (except Andrew and maybe Tony) read my blog, I have total freedom to talk about him. Bwah! :P In Calculus, I kept bugging Mr. Martin, but he just kept giving me lame excuses ... hehe. When I got home, I had some rice noodles, but it wasn't that filling ... but I was tired, so I took a nap for about twenty minutes. I started to work on my correspondance again, but I'm not getting much out of this. I'm still so confused ... argh. We just had dinner, but there wasn't much food. I guess I'm full, so whatever. :P Thinking about eating Alicia's spaghetti makes me hungry, though. Pesto! Mmm ... maybe I'll go and buy pizza tomorrow. Haha ... I doubt that. I always say that I will, but I never end up doing it. Too lazy to walk a whole five minutes to get it. :)

I went to Metrotown today afterschool to try my luck to see if it wasn't too late to still apply for a job. I went to Bluenotes, Roots and Old Navy, but none of the managers were there. I'm beginning to think that there's a conspiracy against me. :P At Bluenotes, I talked to one of the employees and he wrote down my availability and stuff, then thanked me for applying. At Roots, they said that the manager would be there tomorrow, so I held off on submitting my résumé. Then as I walked out of the store, I realized that I'm busy teaching piano tomorrow, so I can't come. Oh well, I guess I'll go back on Saturday. Then at Old Navy, I talked to some lady who seemed kinda manager-like, and she took a brief look at my application. Then she said thanks and bye. So ... yeah. I didn't actually do anything, which is a bit disappointing. All through the day, it was pretty much all I was thinking about, because I wanted to make sure that I made a good impression and all. My résumé and cover letter seemed to go over well with most of the people that I showed today at school, and they only had some minor comments regarding changes. Hopefully I'll get at least a call back. Oh well, we'll see how things go. :)

I've got mixed feelings right now. Not about Linux, but about life in general. I've been trying to deal with this certain issue for such a long time, but it doesn't seem to be going away. It's been a couple years, actually. Whenever I think I've beat it, it comes back the next day. I can't even seem to hold on for a whole week. I figured something out though, but I just don't know what to do about it. I don't know if it's supposed to make me happy or sad, so I'm kinda in the middle, with mixed emotions. I just want this to be over with. It's been so long since it started. I know that it'll be over with eventually, but sometimes I wish that time would come sooner. I guess I'm glad that I'm dealing with it in a slightly better way than I used to. I feel confident that I'll be okay eventually, even though I'm hurting now. But nobody gets through life without problems. Hardships help us to learn and grow, so I'm thankful for that. I guess doing my biography on Kelly is actually helping a little bit. I know that it's probably incredibly stupid and cheesy, but she was really determined to become a singer, and she didn't give up, even when life threw her around in every direction away from her goal. I'm not exactly sure that all the information I have about her is true, but nevertheless, it's still an encouraging testimony.

So many ups and downs
You don't know where to start
So many nights you cry
Life was breaking apart

It may seem real hard
Ain't no help in sight
But don't you worry
About it tonight

In the morning, you'll be alright
In the morning, the sun's gonna shine
In the morning, no clouds in the sky
When it's dark in your life
Just wait for the daylight

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focussing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead ..."

Yum ... lunch was good. White Spot's bistro shrimp fettuccine is the most expensive item on the menu, but that's alright, I didn't have to pay. :) Sautéed shrimp, mushroom, artichoke and garlic in a nice alfredo sauce, served with garlic bread. Ahh ... so good. I don't think I'll need dinner tonight. :) Justin's meal had endless fries with it, so I had some of his second order of fries ... nice and tasty. I don't know why I care so much about food right now. I'm usually pretty indifferent, but I guess it's because I was reading a six-page article on McDonald's while at the barber's. Oh, yeah, I got a haircut. Exactly the same as always, so no surprises here. But anyways, I learned a lot about McDonald's today. Apparently, they've been taking a nosedive in the past seven quarters to a measly 43% of the fast food industry, so they're desperately trying to improve their service and their image. They want to make their menu more fresh and appealing, which is probably why they're heavily promoting their Lighter Choices menu. Their main rival is Subway, because people seem to be more interested in subs and sandwiches than in burgers nowadays. There was a study amongst the top sixty fast food franchises for quality of food and taste, and McDonald's came in dead last. They're even thinking of phasing out 1000 of their locations, because of their poor performance. A certain McDonald's manager wants them gone because they're not putting Armani wallpaper on their walls like he does. :P Oh, and there's an upper-class version of McDonald's, which is called Prêt à Manger. It's still as speedy as the original, but the menu is more refined, and the atmosphere is more like Milestone's or something. Eh, I know too much about McDonald's now. Don't want to eat their food anymore. ;D

Went to Brentwood Lanes with the church guys. Hehe our whole team was so sad ... in the first frame, our highest score was 4. :) I ended up taking second place with 72 points. Or at least I think it was 72. Something around there. I wasn't paying enough attention. Jeff bought us all deluxe nachos ... mmm, good stuff. :D After our first game, half of us didn't feel like bowling anymore, so we played some pool. I didn't want to play though, so I just watched. Stupid Jon jumped the ball and it hit me! Argh. :P But ah well. Justin started to play some video game, and I watched him for a while. I think it was Marvel vs. Capcom, because I remember seeing Captain America, Megaman, Ryu, etc. I remember the old days when I used to actually care about video games. That phase of my life faded away quickly, though. ;D

Talked to Jonathan for a while about music ... seems like he only like rock ... haha. Oh well, I realize that I've become a lot more diverse now. Even though I've been in a pop ballad mood lately, I have a lot of different kinds of music on my computer. I think that ApologetiX is really cool! They're a parody group, who takes secular songs and remakes them into Christian songs ... it's really funny. Sometimes the parody is actually really serious though, but not always. I like "The Real Sin Savior", which parodies "The Real Slim Shady". I love the lyrics. :)

"Chick-a-chick-a-chick-a he's crazy
I'm sick of them ‘born agains’
Walkin' around askin' if you know God
Speakin’ of You Know Who
Yeah, but there's no proof though"
Yeah, probably got a couple of you who think I lack proof
But no worse than what's goin' on in America's classrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just spread the truth
But can't, but the school can tell me we come from evolution
"My mama was a fish, my mama was a fish!"
"And if we're monkeys you might as well forget original sin!"
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to question on their own if God exists

Bwah!

Yay! :) I still think that Callan should have sang his "Juliet" song for her today. Mean. ;D Ah well, it's not like I was dying to hear him anyway. I didn't eat any cake today because I'm trying to not eat chocolate for the rest of the year. I slipped up once or twice, but I'm pretty much clean. But so far, absolutely zero pop. Oh. I think I'm getting old. I mostly drink water, I refuse to drink pop, don't eat chocolate, don't go to parties, find sexual humor repulsive, etc ... it's like I skipped from age 15 to age 55. Ah well. Okay, this post has absolutely nothing to do with Suzy whatsoever anymore. But I guess there's some relevance because she's afraid of getting older, or at least she was joking about it.

Eh, I can't talk about Suzy forever. ;D

Marks are depressing ... I'm not getting unconditional acceptance. Ugh, I especially get irked when people reprimand me for not being content with 96% in Biology or French. I mean, of course I'm happy that I have a high mark, but I want higher because I need to pull up my 83% in Math to try to average out to 92%. Right now, my average in English, French, Biology and Math is 89%, which is just not good enough. Except I'm a little confused. On the early admissions page of the UBC Web site, it says that you need a 92% average in your entire first term, not just your top four or whatever. I'm a bit confused now. Because I might actually make it if I use my entire term (which excludes Math 12, since I took it last year). Mr. Low's going to let me hand in that first assignment, so I'll probably end up with 97% in Desktop Publishing. I doubt they'll let me omit Math 12 in my grade reporting, though. Sigh.

We had a nice little debate about it in Calculus class today. Pretty much me against everybody else, as usual. At this point in time, I've decided to not go to prom. My two main reasons are that I don't like dances and that I don't want to pay extra money to go do something that I won't enjoy. And also because I don't want to be in an area where alcohol and drug use is present. Don't give me that, "No, that never happens" excuse, because I assure you that it will happen. I'm almost sure that several of my friends will be doing it, which will definitely dampen the night. I'm one of the most anti-drugs and anti-alcohol people that I know, so it depresses me to see people do it.

I'd much rather use the prom money to go towards a digital camera or a laptop. Or maybe buying a couple good CDs or books. Or go out for dinner with the churchies or other non-prommers. Besides, I doubt anyone would want to dance with me anyways. People only want to be with other happy people, and that won't be me on that night. But if you think you can convince me to go, good luck trying. :)

Err ... is anyone ever going to post their English notes in the forum? Or should I just delete that thread in the forum? Because I'm feeling a little cheated at the moment by not having access to anyone else's notes ...

What a day for me to indulge in materialistic urges. :P My mom took us to Metrotown to have lunch, and while we were having trouble finding a parking spot, I was thinking about how weird it is for people to be using Remembrance Day to go shopping. But once my right foot made contact with the cold, hard, cement floor of the parking lot, I was right there with them. I had two slices of pizza for lunch, because I'd been craving pizza for the longest time. Then, I got a honeydew bubble tea just because of that bubble tea quiz I did a couple days ago. I browsed around Old Navy and bought a pair of boxers, then I looked around for clothes for the Christmas musical. I'm supposed to wear both pure white top and bottom. I went down to Sears and got a shirt for like five dollars, but I'm having trouble finding white pants. Anyone know where I can get cheap, pure white pants? As in, no more than ten dollars. We have to wear all white because on Friday, I'm going to be in the choir of angels. Preferably something comfortable, because I have to dance in it. :) Dancing angels! Haha.

I was feeling better before, but not anymore.

You were thoughtful
Careful not to hurt the friendship

What happened to those days
When you used to be compassionate?
Caring what I thought and said
So attentive, a gentleman
Now it's hard to turn your head
Away from the TV set
Taking me for granted lately
And frankly it's gotta quit

I feel underappreciated
For all the time and effort
I have put in this friendship